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Talk:Star Trek: Excalibur
Copyedit :In the 12 minute pilot episode, Captain Nelson beams down to Earth at the Starfleet Headquarters in San Fransisco. Upon arrival, he speaks with Yeoman Carter who is manning the front desk, then to Commodore Russell. He reads his book for several minutes as he waits to talk to the Admiral. He meets the admiral and then they talk for a long while in a conference room thats located at dry dock in Earth orbit. Captain Nelson gets a briefing of his mission and his orders. He then mumbles off some Crew changes while with the Admiral. After this is stands up then the Admiral escorts him to the Front Desk he then Checks out/signs he name out of the reception Visitors list for that day. Then he walks back out of the Building he first entered and he then Transported up and then gives his final thoughts and then the credits roll on. I added the Copyedit tag because this write up isn't working. --Hawku (talk) 01:25, March 23, 2016 (UTC) :to be fair i did write that stuff my self and did not copy paste that from some where else and im not familiar with every page, so linking things is a big dificult for me. Iv been trying to find spelling errors and fix it over time, it still kinda stubby though and i have been writing as much as i can but im trying. Promethius20 (talk) 06:16, April 11, 2016 (UTC) ::Sorry, but it's worse now. The first sentence runs on and the grammar/punctuation is horrible. It reads like: He walked over here. Then he walked over there. Then he sat down. I would've also suggested that section be written in-universe with no references to trailers or episodes. I may revert this article to an earlier version. --Hawku (talk) 21:50, April 12, 2016 (UTC) the ending might not be the same depending on wheter its the 14 or the 12 minute version on Youtube.com I just watched the 12 minute web episode of this and some reason the ending changed. in this new version i seen instead of a being escoted out and everything in this verson as soon as the Captain stood up while seated next to Admiral Yoritomo it jumped straight to the voice over work before the credits music. i think the way the artical is set up now its based on the 14 minute version i seen a year ago rather than the real 12 minute version of "Star Trek: Excalibur". :You still hadn't addressed the writing quality notes I mentioned above. I've copyedited the existing write-up and temporarily protected the page. --Hawku (talk) 03:17, June 16, 2016 (UTC) ::You chaned the wording for how the plot went, right now the ending is "after the meeting Nelson transports to the USS Athena" this actually works for both versions the 12 minute version and the 14 minute version. But i still think that its highly unlikely that he trasported straight to the Athena like that, he had to beam back down to the surface of Earth at Starfleet headquarters at Yeoman Carters duty station(the front desk). had he just transported straight to the Athena he would have broken a regulation, secondly it was Yorotomos transport so he had to go where Yoritomo was going and Yoritomo was assumed to be going back to his office back in the Starfleet headquarters building. Besides the way you got that ending is way too simplified to make sense had you not already watched the film. ::Yes i Agree that the way the page is now is substancially better than in the year 2014 when no details from the film was posted. but its still got so many missing details. I like that you kept that recent addition of me including the name of the book he was reading thats great. the first few paragraphs is fine but the ending is a mess. ::Im not sure about this copyediting thing. all i know is this page right here on this wikia is the only page on all of Wikia that has this information and subject material, it was not copied from any where. Also why was the plot of the short film overly simplified like this? when ever i go to Memory Alpha they go though the entire coreagraphy of every thing said and spoken during the episodes in many cases. Promethius20 (talk) 00:31, June 17, 2016 (UTC) :::Fixed. The "overly simplified" edit was an attempt to clear up confusing redundancies, grammar and punctuation in your writing. Please read the Manual of style carefully before editing again. --Hawku (talk) 01:23, June 17, 2016 (UTC)